Introduction

When a woman and a man seek to establish a Christian marriage in which they intend to enter into a life-long relationship, to make their vows before God and the Church, and to receive the grace and blessing of God to help them fulfill their vows, they turn to the parish church. The first step in planning for their celebration of marriage in the church is to contact the parish clergy to arrange for dates, counseling and other plans. This handbook is intended to provide helpful information concerning the requirements and customs of the Episcopal Church and this Parish.

The celebration and blessing of a marriage is a sacramental rite of the Church in which we come together in the presence of God to witness and bless the joining of a man and a woman in Holy Matrimony. In order to assist those desiring to be married in this Parish, the following policies have been established at St. John's, and they conform to the Canons of the Episcopal Church, the Order of Service and the rubrics of the Book of Common Prayer (1979), and the laws of the State of Minnesota.

Planning and Counseling

Marriage License

Rehearsal

The Service

Music

Suggested Hymns for Weddings from the Hymnal 1982

Suggested Vocal Solos for Weddings

Processional and Recessional Organ Music for Weddings

Decorations and Flowers

Other Decorations

Additional Flowers

Photography

Receptions at the Church

General Guidelines for Use of the Church

Wedding Fees

Clergy Honorarium

Our Prayer To You

Planning and Counseling

It is very important to contact the clergy before setting a wedding date. Canons require at least a 30-day notice period, but most couples plan further ahead than that. It is the policy in this Parish that couples meet with the officiating clergy on at least three occasions.

Customarily, marriages are not celebrated during Lent, except under special circumstances, and are prohibited during Holy Week. In the Episcopal Church, marriage of persons who have been divorced is possible with the consent of the Bishop, and in such cases, persons must consult with the clergy of the Parish to discuss procedures for that possibility. At least 60 days notice must be given if one of you has been divorced.

Marriage License

A marriage license from the State of Minnesota is required. A five-day waiting period between the date of application and the date of use is required. The license should be obtained from the Clerk of Court at the County Courthouse well in advance of the wedding date, and brought to the Parish Office before the rehearsal date. The completed certificates will be given to the couple immediately after the wedding.

Rehearsal

At the same time a wedding date is arranged, a rehearsal (if any desired) should be scheduled for a suitable and convenient time. Rehearsals. should begin promptly at the time scheduled and are conducted by the clergy officiating. Please allow one hour for rehearsal.

The Service

The “Celebration and Blessing of a Marriage” will be found in the Book of Common Prayer, beginning with the remarks, “Concerning the Service”, on Page 422. We suggest that you study the liturgy carefully!

The following notes will assist you in planning this important event:

Please note that on Page 425 there are four options for presenting the bride and groom, with a rubric suggesting you also check on Page 437.

The scripture lessons are listed on Page 426. Please note these concepts:

Our readings are taken from the New Revised Standard Version, the Revised Standard Version, the New English Bible, the Jerusalem Bible, or the Authorized Version (King James). Only these translations may be used.

Concerning the Prayers, beginning on Page 428 - The Lord's Prayer is used here if there is no Communion. The other prayers, Pages 429 and 430, may be prayed by lay persons, including several persons, so that one might read the first prayer, another person the second, etc.

You will need to choose which prayer of blessing you desire, from the two prayers on Pages 430-431.

If Communion is to be celebrated, we would go from the Peace on Page 431 to the Offertory of the Eucharist on Page 361. We strongly urge the use of Eucharistic Prayer A, which begins on that page. The Holy Communion is a sacrament for the entire congregation. If needed, the Parish can provide persons to assist with the chalice. The Eucharist concludes with a special prayer on Page 432, rather than the forms of thanksgiving found on Pages 365 and 366.

Many couples find a printed program helpful. We will give you a form to follow if you want to have something printed. Our Office can do this work for you at a cost of $30.00 per hundred, or you may take it to a printer.

Regular attendance at our worship services will assist you in discovering how we worship. In addition, we will be glad to provide you with our wedding schedule, so that you may attend weddings prior to yours, and develop concepts that may be helpful to you!

Music

The Parish organist plays for all weddings in the Church, with the following exceptions: 1) when no music is desired; 2) when music is provided by instrumental groups not including the organ; 3) when a competent organist who is a close friend or relative of the bride or groom might be invited to serve. All music to be included in the celebration of a marriage is subject to the approval of the organist and the clergy officiant, who are guided by the Canons of the Episcopal Church. Vocal music, if used, must have texts with a definite Christian meaning, language which relates to Holy Scripture or The Book of Common Prayer. Congregational hymn singing from the Hymnal is encouraged, especially if the Holy Eucharist is celebrated. During the planning before the wedding, the couple will be asked to consult with the organist to make all arrangements for music. The Parish Organist's fee for weddings is $250.00. A $50.00 consultation fee is requested if our Director is consulted but does not play.

Suggested Hymns for Weddings from the Hymnal 1982

Suggested Vocal Solos for Weddings

Soloists: The Parish Organist will assist you in finding other musicians for vocal or instrumental use.

Processional and Recessional Organ Music for Weddings

Decorations and Flowers

The Church maintains a custom of decorative simplicity for all services, including weddings. Two altar flower bouquets are customary, and these are ordered by the bridal party using liners owned by the Parish. They are delivered to the sacristy at a time to be determined by the Altar Guild. White Bear Floral (651) 484-3391, or Temptation Floral (651-482-9240), are to be the source of all altar flowers. Altar flowers are to be left on the altar as a thank offering on the following Sunday. The Altar Guild also prepares the sanctuary area, places white hangings on the pulpit, lectern and altar, provides the five-branch altar candelabra, and prepares the altar for Holy Eucharist if needed. At the first planning meetings, the Rector will give information forms to the couple. The Altar Guild will coordinate colors, etc. with the altar flowers.

Other Decorations

A white aisle cloth may be used, and is available from florists (length is approx. 75’ from chancel steps, or 100’ from altar rail to narthex). This is placed by the Altar Guild. Candles may be used only on the altar. Fire Department codes prohibit the use of candles in any other location. Ribbon bows may be fastened temporarily to the pews along the center aisle, using twist ties, if a couple so desires (every 2nd or 3rd pew is suggested).

We urge that a "Unity Candle", if one is desired, be lighted and used at the reception.

Additional Flowers

It should be noted that overuse of flowers or other decorations detracts from the natural beauty and simplicity of the Church. While it is not recommended, with the permission of the clergy, one or two small bouquets, or plants, may be placed on either side of the chancel steps. If used, those, along with corsages and personal bouquets, are ordered by the families.

Photography

Because a wedding is a service of worship, we request that photographers, whether professional or amateur, follow these guidelines. A copy of this section should be given to the photographer for guidance.

1. The photographer may have access to the church 90 minutes prior to the ceremony.

2. It is recommended that most or preferably all formal pictures be taken prior to the service. This activity must be concluded 30 minutes prior to the beginning of the service.

3. The time period for formal pictures after the service is not more than 45 minutes.

4. No photographs are allowed during the service, except as noted in #5. Any use of flash or other lights is disruptive, and may temporarily blind the participants or officiant. Flash pictures of the bride, or her attendants, before the procession must be taken in the narthex, not while they are in the nave of the church.

5. Still photographs during the service without flash may be taken from the balcony. Photographers are asked to take such pictures when the shutter noise will be unobtrusive.

6. Video-taping may be discussed with the clergy officiant.

7. No person is to enter the sanctuary (the area behind the altar rail). No books or Church possessions are to be moved.

8. When making arrangements with a photographer, a couple is asked to communicate these guidelines clearly to the photographer and to share those pertaining to flash use with family members.

9. The photographer must request Altar Guild assistance if anything needs to be moved in the sanctuary.

Receptions at the Church

The Parish Hall may be used for receptions under the following conditions:

1. Size of the group - 200 maximum.

2. Arrangements must be made for setting up and cleaning up after the reception.

3. The use of alcoholic beverages is limited to appropriate and legal use of champagne or wine, and must be discussed with and approved by the Rector of the Parish. If such beverages are used, they must be clearly identified, and an appropriate non-alcoholic alternative must be provided and clearly identified.

4. The caterer's name, address and telephone number must be provided to the Church Office.

General Guidelines for Use of Church

1. Food, beverages and smoking are not permitted on Church premises.

2. There will be no alcoholic beverages on the Church premises other than that arranged for at the reception.

3. Families are responsible for tidying up the dressing areas, washrooms, and other areas used by the wedding participants.

4. You may have access to the building no more than 2 hours prior to the ceremony.

5. Because of safety concerns, the Church nursery is not available for weddings. Please keep small children under supervision in the areas previously reserved for your wedding.

6. The use of confetti, rice, seeds, etc., inside or on the Church steps or sidewalk results in a very difficult clean-up task. We respectfully request that the practice be restricted to the street, or preferably, discontinued. (Bubbles work)

Wedding Fees

The Rector and Vestry of St. John in the Wilderness Church are happy to make our facility available for weddings. Unless other arrangements are made with the Rector, the following fees apply for Church use:

Pledging Members:

Non-pledging Persons:

The only other fees you will have are:

• Organist: payable to David M. Gehrenbeck

• $250.00 if he plays for your wedding

• $50.00 if he serves only as a music consultant

The above fees are payable 30 days before your wedding. Please make checks payable to St. John in the Wilderness and send to the Parish Administrator.

Clergy Honorarium

No fee is set, but a donation made out to “The Rector's Discretionary Fund” at a sum commensurate with other wedding fees. A suggested donation is $100.00.

Our Prayer For You

We offer our very best wishes for your married life together, and express those wishes in this prayer for you:

“O God, send your blessing upon these your servants, that they may so love, honor, and cherish each other in faithfulness and patience, in wisdom and true godliness, that their home may be a haven of blessing and peace.”